Yes, I am A FUCKBOY.. Go Hug A Cactus

Posted: May 23, 2015 by ketihapa in Uncategorized


This is the kind of REAL MAN you want, right? Ffs have some standards

So, apparently, someone called me, and a lot of you, a fuckboy. I would be offended, except, I have absolutely no idea what a fuckboy is, leave alone where they are made. By the author’s definition, a fuckboy is an ‘aint shit nigga’; the type of man, guy, whatever, I am confused, that will tell her girl that he misses her and that he cant wait to see her. He is the type of person that will tell his girl that he is willing to ‘chill’ with her and just enjoy her company without necessarily having to rip off her skirt. He is also the type of guy that will want to introduce his girl to his best friends, and ensure that they all know her and respect her. By her admission, a fuckboy is the type of person that will try as hard as he can to ensure you have a good time, even when his money just isn’t enough. He will ensure you eat the best of what you can afford, even if it means sometimes he will ask you to help you do it, because he knows it will not always be that way. Finally, a fuckboy will be the guy that will tell you he will protect you and care for you as best as he can, because that is the only feminism he knows; you are the number one female in his life.
You can therefore understand why I feel I, and lots of other awesome guys out there, have been labeled fuckboys and told to fuck off. If the above make me a fuckboy, so be it.  Because, at the end of the day, I will do these things, maybe not every day, but I will. That is how much I care for my woman.
From my perspective, I cant really call you a fuckboy, that would just be gross, but I wish there a female equivalent for that. (Ideas, guys?) I will tell you why.
First, you don’t want to chill. Apparently just chilling makes me a scrub- Makers of Trust Condoms, please take note as well. When I say I want to see you, the first thing on your mind is sex. If I call you a sex addict or a nymphomaniac, as Nico and Vinz said, Am I Wrong? Lady I do not know what to call, listen, I have no idea who your biology teacher was, or whether you studied under a tree in the same class as the birds, but I hope, if you aren’t already, aware that it is practically and physically impossible to have sex everyday of every month, all year round. Know why, first and foremost, YOU get periods. Heard of those? I hope so, or your REAL MAN, will dump you pretty quickly when he says he will just chill with you coz he knows what time of the month it is and you don’t.
Then there’s the other issue of you refusing to hang out with my friends. Newsflash, YOU are supposed to be MY best friend if we are in a relationship. I am supposed to expect to have the time of my life with you, as Neyo said, regardless I have money or not. I also expect you to be cool with my friends. Yes, I know I will not always have friends that are the best of character, but I will expect you to get along with them. You know why, sometimes, even I disagree with them a lot of times and on a lot of things. Do we go about splashing nonsense on the internet and calling each other fuckboys when that happens? No, we do not. Sometimes, I will tell you to join us because even if I agreed to hang out with them, I just cant imagine spending a single second without you by my side. Then, when we hang out, don’t I always ask you what you want to drink before we make a decision with my SQUAAAAD, and when yours runs out, isn’t it my obligation to ask you if you want a refill? Then, why do you see it so necessary to complain after we get you what you want and we get what WE want? Trust me, person I do not even know what to call anymore, I will not hang out with you if you cannot get along with my friends.
Don’t even get me started on food. A lot of times you get really broke I have to send you cash via M-pesa. Do I go about telling you how I want you to refund my money? Or do your money problems recur whenever I have money problems as well? As I pointed out on Twitter the other day, females your type will have handbags that are seemingly full of everything; from tents, sufurias, shoes, umbrellas, condoms, tissue-practically every survival tool needed, EXCEPT CASH. Yes, I do acknowledge the fact that when I invite you for lunch it is my responsibility to foot the bill; I will from today henceforth note that If I don’t have enough money to buy you what you want, I should not even bother trying to call you just so I can see you. Will you however acknowledge the fact the YOU do get broke at times too and you need someone to help you out?
Also, I will never be a feminist. At least if that’s what your description of a feminist is. I do know one thing though, women deserve respect and to be cared for. That I will always do and give to the women in my life. If you don’t like it, fuck off. Plus the fact that you know who CHIEF KEEF is already tells me one thing, you’re worse than we, the fuckboys you so eloquently insulted and dismissed and that neither of us can ever take you seriously. You can now proceed to hug your cactus, if you were waiting for my go-ahead.

  1. WairimuM says:

    Apparently a fuckboi is the male equivalent of a basic b*tch

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