Let’s call him Joseph. Joseph is a middle aged man with a wife and three kids, two sons and his eldest is a daughter whom he loves to bits. Further from home, Joseph has achieved more than most of his peers already; he has a business to run, where he’s his own boss. He sells computers and their accessories and sometimes, when he’s lucky, he gets tenders from the government through one or two corrupt deals.
Joseph also has a well paying job at a leading Internet Service Provider, where he’s the technical team manager and commands more than 20 employees in his department. His wonderful job means he can afford to buy and maintain any car he’d wish for. At the moment, Joseph drives a sleek black BMW X6. He can also afford to get pretty much any woman he wants; and the car pretty much seals the deal for him. After all, follow the wheels and find the money.
Last month, he purchased a Galaxy Tablet, but had to give it to his daughter as a present because he forgot her birthday was fast approaching, and he had to settle for the new iPad his friends told him about. When he got bored of it, he gave that to his side lady, Brenda, who is a 22 year old college student at KEMU and doubles as a model. She’s gorgeous. What’s more, she loves giving it to him. Or as his friends call it, kugawa. He loves her for it. The two met at one of the popular uptown clubs in Nairobi, where he and his friends frequent to ‘cool off some steam’ though this is just another excuse to drink and screw everything that is female and walks.
Today, Joseph was thinking of trying out this new laptop model that doubles as a tablet- a HP Touchblahblahblah something. I’m not a techie person, I wouldn’t know the specifics.
His world is seemingly perfect and for any reasonable man, that is the life. He should be happy. But today, Joseph is not. His mood has been sulky and he’s had thoughts of murder thrice in two hours now. Even his secretary knows not to disturb the man when he’s like this. Question being, why is Joseph so mad? Let’s rewind back five hours today.
As I mentioned, Joseph is supposed to get his new touch screen laptop today. He’s on his way to town when he comes across a young lady of about 18 years old. She looks stranded and he decides to help her, since she claims she was on her way to town to see her sick mother, but due to the current matatu operators strike, she’s in a fix and she says she’d walk, but she isn’t feeling well. He doesn’t ask what is wrong. She’ll sort herself out when they get to town.
She hops in and he drives. They’re almost at Museum Hill when she claims she’s feeling dizzy and without warning, she faints, and collapses in her seat. Joseph screeches to a halt and tries to wake her up, but his first aid skills do not help. He decides to turn back and rush to her to the MP Shah Hospital, since he doesn’t know what is wrong.
She is rushed to see a doctor once they’re at the hospital. The brilliant doctor manages to revive her back to consciousness but says he has to run some more tests. They wait for the results in silence, Joseph not sure what to tell her and the lady, her name is Linda, she said, looks anxious. About an hour passes and the doctor returns. He has the results with him. She’s pregnant, he says, and he tells Linda she has to take more care of herself. He asks where the father is.
The Linda drops the bombshell. She starts claiming Joseph is the father. Joseph, in shock, says he doesn’t even know her, which puts the drama in motion. He offers to pay for a test to confirm paternity. He calls the office in town and says he might be late. The nurses, most of them in their thirties, have started casting looks at him that suggest he should be ashamed of himself. One particular one says,
“Mwangalie. *shaking her head* Baba ya mtu anatia mtoto mimba halafu hana haya kujaribu kumruka.”
The tests don’t take long. Thank God for technology. They reveal he isn’t the father and he lets out a sigh of relief, but there is more they reveal, the doctor tells them. Joseph is impotent. His jaw drops.
He remembers he has three kids back at home. His mind is spinning. His hands are trembling. His wife of 15 years has possibly been lying to him about ‘their’ children. He makes the logical conclusion. She’s been cheating on him.
Fast forward to the present.
Joseph is still not sure how to confront his wife. He still doesn’t know what to do with the information he received earlier today. His friends feel sorry for him and he can tell they are as pissed off as he is; some of them encourage him to kick out his wife. His thoughts rush back to ‘his’ kids. Perhaps he shouldn’t really be pissed off, considering in the same span of 15 years, he’s cheated on his wife with at least 20 women… the current one is the lovely Brenda. Karma is a bitch.
So, my question, why do we men, refuse to understand how our women can cheat on us when we do it to them on a daily basis? How do we expect them not to cheat if we do it ourselves? Do we always use protection when we do it? Probably not always. Do they? Perhaps they don’t either. When we find ourselves with sexually transmitted diseases, whom do we point our fingers? Them or ourselves?
Think about it.